Most of the most important wisdom I’ve gained in my life, I learned after I needed it, in the form of ‘experience’. That’s the way life is, unless we strive to acquire this wisdom from our parents, grandparents or other mentor. So this is the first in a series of articles about ‘Things I’d Tell My Younger Self’ if I could go back in time and mentor myself for a moment.

I had a present and very clever father. He was pretty thoughtful in modeling a life for his four sons. He died fairly young at 57, but the most important lessons were seeds planted firmly and fertilized with love and humor. Among the most important things were nobility, integrity, hard work, pursuit of knowledge and a love of nature. These are good cornerstones of any life. To this, I would add some important lessons regarding career choices, spousal choices and the handling of money. These last three are lessons that I’d go back and spend some time talking about with my younger self.

On the matter of career choices, it seems somewhat backward having to make choices about ‘who we’re going to be’ and how we’re going to spend a THIRD or more of our adult life, before we have the understanding about who we are, what our talents are and what it is that we enjoy doing for work. That’s a tough one. And the broken university system pretty much compels us to make a choice about our ‘Major’ when we’re still a teenager, long before we have any idea who we are, let alone what the global trends are. It’s an upside down proposition that requires considerable introspection, parental counsel and research.

This is not a conversation I ever really had with my parents. I’m not complaining, it was just I think common in the era of the 60s, particularly in a family where neither parent was a degreed professional (and one, my father, was an orphan). But it is an important conversation to have. Even these days when life and business are evolving so rapidly, it is still an important topic that deserves consideration and discussion with a trusted mentor. I know many, many people who have spent their entire life working in a job that they were either essentially unsuited for, pursued because it was an easy course, or because someone told them they must.

I have been lucky enough to have had a career that: suited my evolving skill sets; was a match for my temperament, and I enjoyed. There are other important vectors of consideration, like income generation capabilities, and these other vectors are important, but my belief is that you’re likely only here once, and if you’re lucky, you’ll only get about 80 years. If you’re going to spend a third of your adult life doing something to support your family, you better enjoy it, and hopefully, you’ll be good at it. So let’s start there.

The time of youth is to learn, explore the world around you, to enjoy the many facets of this brief human experience, to develop yourself spiritually, intellectually and in all other respects. In the process of this, take the time to observe yourself, observe your journey, enjoy your situation and what it offers you. Learn from all of this, and as you do, you’ll develop a sense of who you are as an individual, and as the child of your family. You will develop your own interests, talents and skills. If you find out what you love, and you can develop this into a career that enables you to flourish while sustaining your family, then you are very fortunate (and probably have had some help). If you learn what you love, then you will continue to love learning and developing your life fruitfully and joyfully.

This is a time to determine what it is that is most important to you in your life. Hopefully, you’ll also determine what you have a natural ability doing. The only way to learn these two important values in your life is by exploring different avenues. The only way to know if you love music is by taking up an instrument, finding a good teacher and practicing. Likewise it is with everything else in life. Often, they say, the apple does not fall far from the tree. Likely, you’ll see much of your mother’s and your father’s characteristics in yourself. Leverage the gifts you receive from them and thank them from time to time.

Chase down a few dreams and see where they lie, but don’t do this at the expense of developing your self in other respects or failing to plan and prepare for adulthood. There is no definitive rule that is carved in stone that says that your life MUST conform to specified guidelines. So far as we know, you only have one life, and it is short. Every person has the right to decide ‘what life is about’ and what our priorities and allegiances should be during our lives. We each have both the right and the responsibility to define our lives according to our own belief structure and our interpretation of purpose, value and meaning.

Youth is the time to take risks, be creative, test yourself and figure out who you are and what you’re good at. And to enjoy the many flavors and opportunities while remaining mindful that there are consequences to all of your choices, both in the paths taken and the paths not taken.